Paul Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen: satirical news about Paul Heyman. 45 stories, 2012–2019.
Wrestling company pins hopes on former heads of failed wrestling companies
Vince McMahon steps down, names Dixie Carter as successor
Lesnar baffled to find contractual documents in his new boombox
Wrestling fan at home “hijacks” Raw by ruining it for himself
Rare albino gorilla euthanized after attacking its handler
Heyman insists Lesnar will become “the 1 in Asuka’s 276 and 1”
Heyman surprised to learn it’s not spelled “Burrock”
Lesnar “exhausted” from defending Universal Championship in other galaxies
Heyman finally gets new cellphone for Christmas
Heyman returns after overcoming his lifelong fear of public speaking
Lesnar vows to conquer Punk’s UFC undefeated streak
Lesnar gleefully searches for colorful eggs hidden around Heyman’s yard
Heyman mesmerizes arena with 29-hour recitation of phone book
Amid lack of viable competition, Lesnar to face himself at WrestleMania
Having vanquished Undertaker, Lesnar sets sights on Bayley
Lesnar publishes new young-adult novel under pen name “Judy Blume”
Heyman sent back to developmental to hone mic skills
Lesnar vows to conquer Undertaker’s seven-year, no-match SummerSlam streak
Lesnar and Heyman finally wed
Brock Lesnar “walks out” of Raw on hind legs
Lesnar a playable character in WWE 2K15, but only four times a year
Cena reveals new not-getting-suplexed-16-times strategy
Heyman hospitalized after Lesnar attempts friendly hug
