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PG-rated WWE renames event “Heck in a Cell”
McMahon surprised to learn NXT still exists
Christian promoted to Colonel Charisma
62 percent of wrestling fans think monthly events are called “paper views”
Money in the Bank briefcase to be replaced with more convenient USB stick
Charlie Sheen violates every aspect of WWE Wellness Policy
Half-naked man pretending to be a dinosaur creepily dances with children
TNA’s new “Ultimate Asterisk Match” features more ropes criss-crossed over ring
Indy wrestling promoter refers to his “territory” with a straight face
WWE uses intimidation and threats to make nerds join anti-bullying campaign
Kane designs “I Dig Dead Chicks” t-shirt
Terry Funk has accidental barbed-wire deathmatch with barbed-wire fence
CERN scientists discover elusive “Wrestling God Particle”
Wrestler’s marriage somehow fails
Jeff Hardy checks himself into rehab for addiction to face paint
DDP Yoga relieves stress caused by listening to DDP’s yoga instruction
Wrestler more entertaining on Twitter than in ring
WWE wishes Chyna the worst in her future endeavors
Actual Punjabi prison more enjoyable than watching Punjabi Prison match, says inmate
Heartbroken wrestler ranks 501st in PWI 500
Chris Jericho learns 1,005th hold
Three-hour Raw will feature 60 extra minutes of filler
Seeking more time off, Jericho defecates on Brazilian flag
On this day in WWE history: absolutely nothing happened
