Randy Orton
Satirical news about Randy Orton, out of nowhere. 116 stories, 2012–2023.
Orton beaten to the ring by tortoise
Crazed fan attacks Orton on behalf of bored fans everywhere
Orton fails to cash-in Money in the Bank contract after 17-minute walk to the ring
Satirical wrestling news site deemed more reliable than actual wrestling news sites
Randy Orton delivers RKO outta somewhere
Orton now just going to wait for the ring to come to him
Match ends in time-limit draw before Orton actually gets to the ring
Randy Orton replaced by life-size cardboard cutout of himself
WWE vows to reveal Smackdown results several weeks before Smackdown tapings
Raw expanding to nine hours
Wrestler suddenly realizes steel chairs can also be sat upon
Attractive female at ringside presumed to be wrestler’s wife or mistress
Randy Orton nabbed by Dateline NBC’s “To Catch an Apex Predator”
Voices in Orton’s head turn out to be coming from iPod
Kane not sure why he’s booked in three-way match either
Bob Orton injured in Kane attack; will need arm cast for years
Kane feeling strangely indifferent about Undertaker lately
All WWE wrestlers now hoping to lose in 18 seconds
Orton and Kane not sure why they’re mad at each other
