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WWE re-signs Lesnar despite stupid dagger tattoo
Five-Knuckle Shuffle vs. People’s Elbow in long-awaited showdown of ridiculous moves
WWE honors Four Horsemen, ignores other Twelve Horsemen
Orton and Kane not sure why they’re mad at each other
Mae Young roused from cryogenic slumber for WrestleMania skit
Spanish announce team demands a stronger table
Shane Douglas “invades” local McDonald’s unnoticed
Pudgy Rob Van Dam unveils new finisher, The Van Baconator
Fans chant “this is awesome” out of pity
Chubby black guy from The Hangover going into WWE Hall of Fame
Triple-H aims to extend WrestleMania losing streak to 0-3
Mick Foley ironing his nicest sweatpants for Hall of Fame ceremony
Female Iranian wrestler tortures opponents with the Cameltoe Clutch
Joey Styles disrupts church service with over-enthusiastic prayer
Eric Bischoff only answers questions with questions
Jack Tunney Presidential Library opens in Stamford
Police nearing arrest in McMahon limo bombing
WWE Studios not even trying anymore
Hearing-impaired wrestling audience justifiably chants “What?!”
Donald Trump questions whether Hulk Hogan is a real American
Repo Man’s car repossessed
Prominent gynecologist concerned about Cena’s lady parts
Midget battle royal enters fourth hour with nobody eliminated
Stranded in blizzard, Hornswoggle survives in Brodus Clay’s hollowed-out belly
