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Jaded wrestling fans already bored with Sting’s WWE run
Sting mortified to learn he’s 13 years late for WCW invasion
Sting expected to hatch from mysterious giant egg
Sting to “definitely” appear at pay-per-view, confirms WCW Hotline in 1992
Sting confirmed for Survivor Series, reports some guy on internet
God, as witness, refutes exaggerations made by Jim Ross
Sunny stoops to the only business less classy than pro wrestling
Bret Hart suddenly signs up for Skype
American northeast buried, presumably by Triple H
Buffalo blizzard and nationwide chill blamed on WCW’s Glacier
Random soccer mom from Ohio to guest-host Raw
Kim Kardashian signed to WWE as “Rikishi”
Injured Cena gets Make-A-Wish visit from self
Internet Wrestling Community deemed OK to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there
Great Khali returns to first love, ballet
Eternally mischievous Guerrero tricks God with bogus chairshot routine
Cena quits Team Cena
Inanimate carbon rod to host WWE Raw
Monday Night Raw moving to Tuesdays
Lesnar confirmed to face Grumpy Cat at WrestleMania 31
Orton-versus-Cena confirmed for WrestleManias 31 through 57
Lesnar’s chest tattoo goes flaccid
Lesnar loses championship at house show
AJ Lee loses five pounds, ceases to exist
